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Korus Old Soldier Member # 630 posted 13 February 2021 20:13           Well, this one never, ever grows old.... This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call Rate Member Posts: 64 | From: LFWA | Registered: Jan 2002

echo Veteran Member # 113 posted 13 February 2021 20:43           *has a good laugh* nope,never does get old. -------------------- Nulli Secondus Rate Member Posts: 153 | From: Markham,Ontario,Canada | Registered: Sep 2000

Another Recce Guy Armour Forum Moderator Member # 279 posted 14 February 2021 06:38             Try this site http://www.giggleshack.com there is a whole section with military humour. Enjoy! -------------------- A.R.G. Member Rated: Posts: 116 | From: Windsor, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2001

delta Recruit Member # 589 posted 17 March 2021 17:43             hehehehehehehehehehehehe... dear ol' americans...who are we going to make fun of without them? -------------------- Up the guards Rate Member Posts: 13 | From: Ottawa, ON | Registered: Dec 2001

Sharpey Veteran Member # 636 posted 19 March 2021 20:35           Here's a joke... "The Canadian Armed Forces!" We have the trained soldiers, give us some toys! Member Rated: Posts: 104 | From: Windsor | Registered: Jan 2002

Bedpan Elemental Old Soldier Member # 456 posted 19 March 2021 21:25           http://www.skippyslist.com/ Some funny stuff. Member Rated: Posts: 67 | From: Waterloo, Ontario | Registered: Aug 2001

Soldier of Fortune Veteran Member # 223 posted 21 March 2021 16:35           HaHaHa! Yes the sites Another Recce Guy and Bedoan Elemental also have some very funny ones. -------------------- Soldier of Fortune Member Rated: Posts: 199 | From: Ontario | Registered: Mar 2001

Fus Veteran Member # 648 posted 22 March 2021 15:54           HAA! That skippy stuff was friggin great !!!! Member Rated: Posts: 126 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Jan 2002

Sharpey Veteran Member # 636 posted 29 April 2021 11:18           "Thank you for calling the Canadian Armed Forces" Thank you for calling the Canadian Forces. We are sorry, but all our units are out at the moment. Please press '1' to leave a message, with your country, name of organization, region, details of the specific crisis, media relations plan, exit strategy, and a number where we can reach you. As soon as we have sorted out East Timor, the Balkans, Iraq, marauding Chinese refugee boats, The Combat Bra, The Millennium Bug, ice storms, floods, prime Ministerial lip-slips, marching up and down the streets of Toronto with snow shovels and compulsory Diversity Training, we will return your call. Please speak after the tone. For other services, please listen to the following options: If your crisis is small and close to the sea, press '2' for the Canadian Navy. If your concern is distant, with a tropical climate and good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low-risk bombing runs, please press '3' for the Canadian Air Force. Please note that this service is not available after 1630 hours or on weekends. If your enquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of rifle drill, a color party and a really good marching band, please write, well in advance, to The Commanding Officer, Governor General's Foot Guards, Ottawa, Ontario. If your enquiry is not urgent, please press '4' for the 2nd Canadian Mechanized Brigade Group Quick Reaction Force. If you are in immediate and serious danger, press '5' and your call will be routed to The Royal Canadian Army Cadets, Upper Rubber Boot, Saskatchewan. If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, put your life partner and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization, and are prepared to work your butt off daily, risking your life in all weathers and terrain, both day and night, whilst watching the Treasury Board eroding your original terms and conditions of service, then please stay on the line. Your call will shortly be taken by a bitter passed-over Recruiting Sergeant in a strip mall somewhere in Newfoundland. Have a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the Canadian Forces. Member Rated: Posts: 104 | From: Windsor | Registered: Jan 2002

Coniar Recruit Member # 810 posted 30 April 2021 19:48           I cant belive thats actually real! I wonder who was on the US end of the Radio? As for Sharpeys post that pretty much sums up the Canadien Military, or at least what most people think of it. ------------------------------------------------- If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, put your life partner and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization, and are prepared to work your butt off daily, risking your life in all weathers and terrain, both day and night, whilst watching the Treasury Board eroding your original terms and conditions of service, then please stay on the line. Your call will shortly be taken by a bitter passed-over Recruiting Sergeant in a strip mall somewhere in Newfoundland. ------------------------------------------------------- Funny that really dosent lessen my desire to join the army. Mabey I should go see my doctor... Coniar -------------------- Records are there to be broken... Rate Member Posts: 25 | From: Vancover | Registered: Apr 2002

2915_p&d; Recruit Member # 686 posted 01 May 2021 11:37           I agree with with Sharpey on that one.We better hide the fire wood because here come the Canadians with their pick up trucks when the prime minister is flying around in a new leer jet. Rate Member Posts: 12 | From: Capreol | Registered: Feb 2002

Art Johnson Old Soldier Member # 7 posted 01 May 2021 23:41           An old soldier friend of mine sent me this the other day. An old soldier went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the soldier and asked, "Are you a real soldier?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life in the army, drilling recruits, jumping out of airplanes, and fighting battles, so I guess I am." What do you do? She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women, when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old soldier and asked, "Are you a real soldier?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian. Member Rated: Posts: 69 | From: Scarborough ON Canada | Registered: Jun 2000

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