LDA Ballad


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Posted by Edgar A. Poe from Canada on March 06, 2021 at 13:46:01:


Once upon a Wednesday dreary,
While I pondered, weak and weary,
When to give out T-4s at my door,
There came an urgent lapping,
A solid, manly, rapping,
There came a stolid tapping,
At the Fin Oh's door -
Twas a young, young soldier sounding sore.

"What the hell is Ell Dee Ay?"
"What all does it mean to me?"
He fired such like questions by the score.
I shrugged and sighed and could not lie,
I said, "I think it's just an alibi"
The reply this garnered went and said it all:
"Screw all this crap, we need a war!"

His tone was filled with adversity,
He claimed to repsect diversity,
The training, he said, would surely be a bore!
The young man sniffed and scratched a chigger,
"My mind," he said, "could get no bigger,"
"Why, I once even kissed a nigger!"
The N word tumbled down on to the floor.

"Well you see," I said, "The problem is,"
"You think that you are such a whiz,"
"We could not possibly teach you any more."
"You are the representative of the nation,"
"You go abroad, to far flung stations,"
"Other people see you for what you really are,"
"And judge us, fool, for good or poor."

"You want to learn to kill and fight,"
"Well, young man, that's only right,"
"But thinking, too," said I, "is part of war,"
"But Sharon deserved it, don't you see?"
The young man made to ask of me.
"They killed him for safety, not for glee!"
"The men weren't hatred down on to their cores."

"Do we need killers or thinkers?" asked the man.
"A man with a heart or a man with a plan?"
"A man to whom killing ain't work but just a chore?"
"Well," said I, "That may be right,"
"But when you're caught up in a fight,"
"Look off beside you left and right,"
"And see who's with you, though even more..."

"See who's against you. That's right."
"It is possible, it just might,"
"Turn out that your teammates hate YOU all the more."
"If you can't respect, or accept all men,"
"Because of religion, or colour of skin"
"What kind of mess will you be in?"
"Once you're all off to a war?"

"A House Divided cannot stand,"
"And Soldiers Stupid should be canned,"
"You cannot fight if comrades hate you more."
The young man thought, and sniffed, and twitched.
He thought again, and scratched and itched.
And considered fully the ideas I'd pitched.
"It's just not like our days of yore."

"That's right," said I, feeling merry,
"Hating your brother is a bygone luxury,"
"We're in it all together, for evermore."
The man thanked me, stood up, and voiced the notion,
"You can't change my ideals with one swift motion,"
"A man's thoughts and feelings run deep as the ocean."
I nodded and agreed; he had just said scores.

"Just try to keep an open mind,"
"Even if just to avoid a bind,"
"Sit and listen and picture yourself as an 'O'"
With that the young man went
With hatred and ire not nearly spent
But at LDA all attention he lent
And a better soldier was he for having had to go.




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