Posted by CF Operator from Canada on October 07, 2021 at 17:53:42:
As soon as we have sorted out Indonesia, the Balkans, Irag, Chinese Refugees, The Combat Bra, the Millenium Bug, Snowstorms, and Diversity Training we will return your call.
Please speak after the tone. For other services please select one of the following options:
- If your crisis is small and near a coast, press "2" and a representative of the Canadian Navy will speak to you shortly,
- If your crisis is distant but with a tropical climate and excellent hotels and may be solved by on or two low risk bombing runs, please press "3" for the Canadian Air Force. Note that this service is NOT available after 1630hrs or on weekends.
- If your inquiry concerns a situation which may be resolved with a bit of rifle drill, a colour party and a really good marching band, please write well in advance to the Commanding Officer, The Ceremonial Guard, Ottawa, On.
- If your inquiry is not urgent, please press 4 for the 2 CMBG Quick Reaction Force.
- If you are in a real jam and need immediate help, please press "5" to reach the Royal Canadian Army Cadets.
- If you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at, paid little, have premature arthritis, put your life partner and family in a condemned hut miles from civilization and are prepared to work your butt off daily, risking life and limb in all weathers and terrain by day and night, while watching Treasury Board erode your original terms of service the please stay on the line. Your call will shortly be taken by a bitter passed-over Recruiting Sergeant in a strip mall somewhere in Newfoundland.
Have a pleasant day and thank you once again for trying to contact the Canadian Forces